mOre jOkes

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Young Man:Sir,may i know the time,please?
Old Man:certainly not.
Young Man:Sir,but why?what are you going to lose,if you tell me the time?
Old Man:Yes,i may lose something if i tell you the time.
Young Man:But Sir,can you tell me how?
Old Man:see,if i tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man:Quite possible.
Old Man:May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.
Young Man:Quite possible.
Old Man:One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came in to wish me.then a courtsy,i will offer you a cup of tea.After my courteous approach you will come again.this time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it?
Young Man:Possible
Old Man:Then i will tell you that my daughter has and i will then have to introduce my young an pretty daughter to you & you will admire my daughter.
Young Man:Smiles.
Old Man:Now onwards you will try to meet my dauthter again and again.you willoffer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.
Young Man:Smiles.
Old Man:My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you.after meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man:Smiles.
Old Man:one day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man:Oh Yes!and smiles
Old Man:(angrily)young man,i will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.
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*****abeille*****

yes abeille ...a 'nothing' can lead to a 'much ado' Laughing

so kill it in its bud...

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° scratch

zirYabe

oooh yes dear Ziryabe....great things begin from the smallest...

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SICKNESS:
No excuse...We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

AN OPERATION:
We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.

DEATH:
Other than your own:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently let you leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

Your own:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to train your replacement.

[b]We appreciate your cooperation,
THE MANAGEMENT

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*****abeille*****

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Very Good Hasanae...It's funny... lol!

Jayshree a écrit:: Very Good Hasanae...It's funny...

thank you dear Jayshree..
because i'm student so many times i hear very good from my teachers...when you said very good i thought you are one of them lol!

...but really i'm proud of being your student not just you but all members of the forum...i feel i'm student here because the majority are older than me flower

no dear hassnae..here you are a full member & a respectable friend..we enjoy all your interesting & rich contributions...
your beautiful presence & that of other members make our forum a better & warmer place..thx a lot for being here

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° scratch

zirYabe

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Hasnae a écrit:

Jayshree a écrit:: Very Good Hasanae...It's funny...

thank you dear Jayshree..
because i'm student so many times i hear very good from my teachers...when you said very good i thought you are one of them lol!

...but really i'm proud of being your student not just you but all members of the forum...i feel i'm student here because the majority are older than me flower

Dear Hasane...you are right...here, majority are older than you lol!

and you know I'm a teacher toooooooo... Smile

and I would like having a student like you...You are welcome dear.... flower

Thank youuuuu dear Chennouf and Jayshree.....

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hi dear Rebecca,
You hope we consider you as a student while we are all students.Students of a great teacher:LIFE.Since we are in life , we will never stop learning"we learn from the cradle to the tomb".But there is always something we can learn from those older..knowledge and experience... sunny

There are many poets i like such as Gibran Khalil Gibran,Mohames Darwich but most of poems i read are of NIZAR QABBANI.He is a siryan poet whose subject matter was at first strictly erotic and romantic,grew to embarace political issues as well.written in simple but eloquent language,his verses,some of which were set to music...
here is one of his poems also you will find it as a song sung by KADEM SAHER: http://la7oon.com/lyrics/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1611&Itemid=49

thank you...

When I love

When I love
I feel that I am the king of time
I possess the earth and everything on it
and ride into the sun upon my horse.

When I love
I become liquid light
invisible to the eye
and the poems in my notebooks
become fields of mimosa and poppy.

When I love
the water gushes from my fingers
grass grows on my tongue
when I love
I become time outside all time.

When I love a woman
all the trees
run barefoot toward me…

nizar qobbani

Thank youuuuuuuuu dear friend flower

Un gars va chez le médecin pour de violents maux de tête.
Le médecin lui dit :
- J'ai une bonne et une mauvaise nouvelle.
La mauvaise, c'est que vous avez une tumeur au cerveau qui n'est pas opérable.
La bonne, c'est que notre hôpital est à la pointe dans la recherche sur la transplantation de cerveaux, et que par bonheur, un couple vient de décéder dans un accident de voiture et nous disposons de deux cerveaux en parfait état.
Vous pouvez choisir celui que vous voulez.
Le cerveau masculin coûte 500 000 Francs, et le cerveau de la femme coûte 100 000 francs... Le gars ne sait pas comment choisir:
- Comment ça se fait qu'il y ait une telle différence de prix entre les deux cerveaux ?
- C'est parce que le cerveau de la femme est usé, alors que celui de l'homme n'a jamais servi. mOre jOkes Clin_d10

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mOre jOkes Stargl11

Not Me Your Honor

A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their game and took all three before the local judge.

After listening to the sheriff's story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest: "Were you gambling, Father?" The priest looked toward heaven, whispered, "Oh, Lord, forgive me!" and then said aloud: "No, your honor, I was not gambling."

"Were you gambling, Reverend?" the judge asked the minister. The minister repeated the priest's actions and said, "No, your honor, I was not."

Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked: "Were you gambling, Rabbi?"

The rabbi eyed him coolly and replied "With whom?"

The Redhead

A young Redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible", says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.

The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"

"No, " she says, " I'm actually a Blonde."

"I thought so, the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

Equal Marriage

Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a marriage with equal roles for equal partners.

So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!"

Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"

Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, "third time's a charm" and brought her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached."Here, my love, enjoy!" Jill looks at the plate and says, "You scrambled the wrong egg."

Little Johnny's Numbers

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

"Yes," he said. "My dad taught me."

"Good! Can you tell me what comes after three."

"Four," answers little Johnny.

"What comes after six?"

"Seven."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a good job. What comes after ten?"

"A jack," says little Johnny.

Wedding Vows
A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

It begins since their childhood
that -really- frightens ..The bachelors should be careful Smile

Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference.
At the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought
only one ticket between them.
.How are you going to travel on a single ticket?. asked a lawyer.
.Wait and watch,. answered one of the engineers.
When they boarded the train, the lawyers took their seats, but the thre e
engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. Shortly
after the train started, the ticket collector arrived. He knocked on the toilet
door and asked, .Ticket please.. The door opened just a crack and a single
arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The ticket collector took it and moved
on. Seeing this, the lawyers decided to the same thing on the return trip.
So when they got to the station, they bought only one ticket. To their
astonishment, the engineers didn.t buy any. .How are you going to travel
without a ticket?. asked one of the perplexed lawyers.
.Wait and watch,. answered an engineer.
In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers
into another nearby. Soon after the train started, one of the engineers got out
of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding.

He knocked on the door and said, .Ticket, please.

Finding perfect men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.

"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"

An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

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THERE IS NO PERFECT MAN NO PERFECT WOMAN thanks

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