shOrt jOkes

Mother: How was your first day at school?
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
Pupil: At launch time!

¤Boy to mother: I've decided to stop studying.
How come? asked the mother.
I heard that that someone was shot dead, because he knew too much.

¤Mother: Why are you crying?
Sally: Because I fell and hurt myself.
Mother: When did that happen?
Sally: About twenty minutes ago.
Mother: But you've only just started crying.
Sally: I know. Earlier, I thought you'd gone out.

¤Get up, shouted Albert's mother. You'll be late for school.
But I don't want to go, protested Albert. All the kids are horrible, the teachers
are terrible, and it's all extremely boring. I want to stay home.
But,replied Albert's mother, you're forty-three and the headmaster of the
school.

For The Kids...
Father: How were the exam questions?
Son: Easy
Father: Then why look so unhappy?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

Car Accident
As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."

From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

Gallagher's Obituary

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are you callin' from?"

Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?

Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!

Invité

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married

And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

Judge's Announcement

A jewish judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, "Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make.

"The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way.

"In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the defense."

Dusty Housekeeping

One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."

Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate."

"Why do you keep reading the Quran everyday?" the teenage girl asked her grandfather.

"Well, it's a bit like *cramming for your final exam," said Grandpa.
---------------

*to cram : to prepare (a student) or review (a subject) for an examination in a hurried, intensive way

Masterpiece

One day a girl came home crying to her mom. The mom asked what was wrong.

The girl responded, "I'm not a creation, God made men first! I'm nothing!"

Then the mom said, "Oh baby that's not true, God may have made men first ,but there's always a rough draft before the masterpiece."

the women surely will like this joke and will forget the others about blondes

yes of course they must be elated & jubulant...but after all, they are the masterpiece of both this life & the life to come

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!

TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same
time."

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE

hanks dear hala for these really funny jokes especially the last one..

u see how the people are naive Smile

yes..too naive, too simple & straightforward...

Grenades

Bubba and Clem find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station.

"What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Clem.

"Don't worry about it," says Bubba. "We'll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Millionaire

"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire.'"
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"
"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.

Very funny joke, he already takes himself as a Millionaire

yessssssssssssssssss..! sO he doesn't have to write the essay himself

thx dear hala.

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a base- ball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. "How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"

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