shOrt jOkes

Getting Married

Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy : It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.

Girl : Well that is because we aren’t married yet.

Working

"How long have you been working at that office ?"

"Ever since they threatened to fire me."

Love Me Above No Other



Girlfriend: "And are you sure you love me and no one else?"

Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday."

Learning Today



The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

-How Do you Know that Adam and Eve were not Chinese?

-Simple, because when temptation reared its delicious head, they both would have thrown away the apple & would have eaten the snake instead.

Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

Getting There is Half the Battle


An excited man calls the fire department and says, "Help me, my house is on fire!!"

The fireman says, "Where do you live?"

The man replies, "I am too excited, I can't tell you the exact address."

The fireman asks, "How do you expect us to get there?"

The man replies, "What do you mean 'how'? The big red truck."

Getting Used to It

You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.

He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

Mental Hospital



After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."

...which is worse!
real embarrassment.

Opposites Attract



Two bachelors were talking about their respective choice of life partner. One friend said,'It is generally said that people with opposite characteristics make the happiest marriages. What is your opinion ?

The friend replied,'Yes, they are right. That is why I am looking for a girl with a money!'

Adam and Eve's Perfect Marriage


Q: Do you know why Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage?

A: He didn't have to listen to her talk about all the other men she COULD have married, and she didn't have to put up with his Mother!

Dinner Invitation



"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

Neutron in a Bar





A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender looks at him, and say "For you, no charge."

HE WANTED TO SIT IN A CAFE HE SAT IN TEA

A NATIVE MOROCCAN BLAGUE.

saidani

Two Guys in a Bar



Two guys walk into a bar and sit down to eat their lunches. Then the bartender says, ”Sorry, but you can’t eat your own food in here.”

So the two guys look at each other and swap lunches.

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to swap : to exchange

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.

On the occasion of Aid Al Adha a fellah bought a dress to his wife.

W. : I don't like a dress that fastens before! (behind).

H. : But you have never had a dress that fastens before before,haven't you?

tASTE THIS STICK then ! and he beat her like a snake !!!


saidani miloudi