SchOOL jOkeS...

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, “If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?”Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, “Four!”

The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. “Maybe the child did not listen properly,” she thought. She repeated, “Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?”

Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher’s face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, “Four…”

The disappointment stayed on the teacher’s face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn’t like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, “If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?”

Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, “Three?”

The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, “Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?”

Promptly Arnav answered, “Four!”

The teacher was aghast. “How Arnav, how?” she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.

In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, “Because I already have one apple in my bag.”

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs.10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.50

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.
"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor.
"First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What's the problem?"
"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."
"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.
"Four," the man replies.
"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense"

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

Building Rome

Marilyn, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first. "Rome was built at night." was his answer.

"At night?" asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her boney-knuckled hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"

"Well," gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

Teacher : “Which is more important to us the sun or the moon?”

Pupil : “The moon”.

Teacher : “Why?”

Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun

gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking about a specific condition, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

Personality Test

A psychology student was to help a professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test.

"How does this glass of water look to you?"

Person 1: It is half empty.

Student writes 'pessimist' in his report.

Person 2 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?"

Person 2: It is half full.

Student writes 'optimist' in his report.

Person 3 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?"

Person 3: Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need there.

The student looks totally blank and goes to consult with the professor.

"Oh them!", the professor says, "I forgot to warn you about the engineers! They have no personality."

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson.

"Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?"

One child was ready with an answer: "They don't have a union."

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

Admin Nombre de messages : 6208 Date d'inscription : 08/01/2007

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"

Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"!!

The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"

Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"

Personality Test

A psychology student was to help a professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test.

"How does this glass of water look to you?"

Person 1: It is half empty.

Student writes 'pessimist' in his report.

Person 2 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?"

Person 2: It is half full.

Student writes 'optimist' in his report.

Person 3 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?"

Person 3: Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need there.

The student looks totally blank and goes to consult with the professor.

"Oh them!", the professor says, "I forgot to warn you about the engineers! They have no personality."

Teacher: Vincent, not to be presumptuous, but your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it?

Vincent: Yes, I wrote, while my mother dictated..

» mOre jOkes
» Ramadan jokes
» jOkeS'cOrner
» shOrt jOkes
» Islam School...